Have you fallen in love with someone and don’t know how to navigate through this experience? Not sure what’s allowed before marriage? The truth is love can be a complicated subject in any culture and religion. But if you’re wondering what love in Islam really looks like, here is an overview.
Love and Romance in Islam
The notion of love and romance is quite different and unique in Islam. It focuses on being honest and practical to avoid wasting your time or dignity. If you’re a Muslim and end up falling in love with someone, it should be for the sole intent to marry and for the sake of Allah. When it comes to love and the relationship between a man and woman, both must equally have the intention to marry. Until then, the idea of romantic notions is viewed as being harmful and unrealistic to young minds, and therefore, should be avoided.
Arranged Marriages
The Islamic way of love believes that physical attraction or romance should not be the basis of a successful marriage. This can lead to a blind attraction that ignores potential problems between a couple. As such, the process of an arranged marriage requires a critical evaluation of the compatibility of a couple and holds importance on the wisdom and guidance of the family elders. However, Islam has given freedom of choice to those who wish to get married, so long as they are suitable -they cannot be forced into marriage if they don’t want to.
How to Choose a Partner
At the same time, it is considered unreasonable for two people to fall in love and get married when they do not know much about one another, nor have they seen each other. As such, it’s recommended to choose someone with whom you share a common way of life with. The Quran also encourages Muslims to choose someone who is pure and good while also considering the consent of the parents or guardians.
Love is Not a Pre-Condition of Marriage
Being in love is not considered necessary to marry, however, the Prophet Muhammad did say, “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” Therefore, it is still recommended for a happy life. To choose an appropriate spouse, it is permitted that both see and talk to each other first for matrimonial purposes while being supervised by their mahram relatives.
A Valid Marriage
For Muslim women, the father or guardian should approve the selection of her partner. This is to ensure that her interests and welfare are protected. Both the bride and groom must have reached the age of maturity. If you plan to propose, both guardians or representors must be the president for the proposal and acceptance of it. If a girl does not want to accept the proposal, it is not lawful to force her to marry someone she does not want to.
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