We know you’re not just looking for someone to date, but rather someone you can build a strong, loving, and forever relationship with. At Khadijah Elite, our mission is to facilitate this for you in a way that honours you during the process and in ways that will grow into lifetime foundations.
Here are three traits of Conscious Muslim Relationships to keep in your mind and heart as your conversations evolve and your relationship with the right person flourishes:
It’s a buzzword, yes, but here we are talking about two kinds of deep trust. The first is your trust in God. When your trust is in God that no situation is a coincidence, rather an opportunity for growth, your perspective changes. This way, if you’re uncertain of the outcome of a situation or relationship, you believe that leaning on God is always the right answer because you’ve always been in His Divine and perfect care.
The trust you need to have in your partner is rooted in how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (may God nourish his light in our hearts) taught us to see others, with Husn-al-Dhan, judging their intentions to be good.
When you assume that your partner has your best interest at heart, you will approach any potential conflict differently. Rather than saying something such as “You never listen,” You will say something along the lines of “I feel like you’re not hearing me.” When you trust that your partner has pure intentions, this will help you approach conversations with a pure intention as well.
When you decide to pursue a relationship with someone as a Muslim, it’s for the sake of finding the person to spend your life with on your journey back to Allah. So imagine yourselves walking that path together. Your unity in your intentions, your plans and your communication will make you a stronger team. It’s much harder to break up a team than it is for one person to fall alone.
Unity begins in sharing your intentions concerning your relationship with God. This is the backbone of all we do, so when you and your partner (or future partner) are on the same page, it’s like you’re speaking the same language. This common language will help you both continue to find one another back on the same page during challenges.
3. Growth Over Comfort
In any situation and daily, you’re faced with choices to make. Sometimes our default is to go to what we know best or what feels easiest in that moment. Imagine someone makes a comment you don’t appreciate, and you instantly feel that this is not something aligned with your values, something you can’t live with. Many of us, especially in the early stages of a relationship will have one of two responses: freeze or fight.
A freeze response would look similar to completely ignoring the comment and moving on, even though it continues to play in your mind over and over again.
A fight response would look like an instant attack on what the other person said and possibly misjudging their intentions.
Either one of these has damaging effects despite being an automatic response. So this is where you need to call on your deep intelligence and consciousness to help you proceed in a growth-oriented manner, rather than seeking comfort. This might look like taking the time to really reflect on the comment and why it made you uncomfortable, then making the time to discuss this with the other person to discuss your discomfort and how you can both grow from this misunderstanding.
Blog written by Dhouha Haddad
Family Social Worker
Certified Life Coach Practitioner
Proud Wife and Mother